Your sense of self is ever-changing, not static. There’s the person you are at home, which is likely different from who you are at work or school. How you act and present yourself in public may be quite different from how you are with loved ones.
But which one is your best self? You may feel like it’s a combination of all those options mentioned above — or none of them at all.
Learning how to be true to yourself is an age-old struggle. You may feel that your mind, body, and heart tell you to act one way, but society demands you to act differently. But exploring your authentic self can teach you how to be true to yourself in a relationship, to be comfortable in your own skin, and to live the life of your dreams.
Putting in the work can be overwhelming, but it’s worth it in the long run. That’s why we put together these tips, on how to be the best version of yourself.
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The first step to doing anything worthwhile is beginning. And while it can be quite challenging to make that initial leap, without kicking off the process, you won’t get anywhere.
Prioritize what matters to you — not others
You’ll never feel fulfilled if you live trying to meet someone else’s expectations. Instead, channel your effort and energy toward what matters to you.
That may be your family, travel, or reading a good book regularly. Only you can determine what’s most important to your happiness and sense of purpose in life. Spend time around people who encourage positive self-talk and make you feel good about yourself.
Let go of limiting belief
You know who you are – but do you know who you could be? Most of us are held back by limiting beliefs: untrue thoughts we have about our intrinsic nature. By learning to recognize and let go of whatever limiting beliefs are keeping you from becoming the best version of yourself, you’re able to push forward and find the person you really are.
Turn your should into musts
To be the best version of yourself, you need to live with no regrets. You need to get out of your comfort zone, take risks and fail – yes, fail – so that you can get back up again and succeed. Stop telling yourself what you “should” do and start doing it. Use what Tony calls the rocking chair test. Imagine yourself old and gray, reflecting on your life. What are you most proud of? What do you most regret? This will reveal your “musts.”
Be present in every moment
Whether you’re spending the day with your family, volunteering at a local charity event, bussing tables at a nearby restaurant, or sitting at your desk making sales calls, be there completely. You were put on this planet to connect with and share your talents with those around you. By not being present, you are not sharing your gift.
Anytime you notice that you are distracted with other thoughts during an activity—your to-do list, your phone, the next event on your schedule—encourage your attention back to the moment you are in. This can go for anytime you find your mind is wandering or anytime your attention has drifted outside of the present moment.
Teach your brain to be the best version of yourself
Your brain is what controls everything you do. Whether it is consciously or subconsciously, your brain has the wheel. When you negatively judge yourself (or someone else) about the way you look, you don’t think you’re capable of accomplishing a goal, or you don’t think you are pretty, skinny, or good enough for your dream guy or girl, it’s your brain talking.
Cut the negative self-talk out of your life! Flip the negative, judging, mean, and pessimistic switch off. Turn positivity and optimism on.
Just like you taught your brain to read in elementary school, drive in high school, cram for a test in college, and to deal with the stresses of everyday life, you are capable of teaching your brain to think positively about yourself and others. If you repeat an activity, a recipe, or a song enough times, you will memorize it and it will become part of your memory. That same repetition is needed to change your bad habits and improve your self-talk.
Whatever it is that you put yourself down about, reverse it and repeat the positive thought to yourself. Over and over. Repeatedly tell yourself that you are beautiful and that you deserve the guy (or gal) of your dreams. Repeatedly tell yourself that you are capable of accomplishing a challenging goal. Over and over. Don’t give yourself any slack. You deserve the world and the world deserves you at your full potential. Don’t strive for anything less than success and, of course, the best version of you.